The Confessions

"I have never told my children I struggled with their early years. That the relentlessness of it nearly broke me. They are teenagers and I present as a parent who found it natural and joyful. I did find joy. I also found despair. They should probably know both are possible."

"I have had thoughts about people I love that I would never in a million years act on but that frightened me with their vividness. I understand now that thoughts are not intentions. But for a long time I believed having the thought made me monstrous."

"I chose security over love at thirty two and married someone reliable rather than someone who set me on fire. We have a comfortable life. But I knew on the wedding day I was making a sensible choice rather than a brave one and I have lived with that knowledge quietly ever since."

"I have a habit of arriving slightly late to things so I never have to stand somewhere waiting alone. It means other people always have to wait for me. I have never acknowledged this. I have let people think I am simply disorganised when in reality it is a small daily selfishness."

"I wrote a negative anonymous review of my former employer that was not entirely fair. I was angry when I wrote it. That review is still up there and still affecting their recruitment. I have considered removing it and have not."

"I reported a colleague for something I knew was an exaggeration because I felt threatened by how quickly they were progressing. They were put on a performance plan. They eventually left. I got the promotion. I have not had a peaceful night since."

"I have never told my partner what I actually earn. I earn significantly more than they think. I started the deception early in our relationship when I was nervous about the gap and now it has gone on so long I do not know how to correct it without explaining why I lied."

"I wrote here about a teacher I never thanked. I found the school and wrote her a letter by hand. Three weeks later I received one back. She remembered me. She said my letter had made her year. It made mine too."

"I told my partner I had never been jealous in a relationship. What I meant was I had learned to hide it so well even I sometimes forgot it was there."

"I applied for a job my colleague had told me about in confidence, one she was about to apply for herself. I got it. She found out. She said she understood. She did not speak to me voluntarily for a year."