The Confessions

"I did not visit my father in his final weeks in hospital because I told myself I was too busy with work. The truth is I was afraid. When he died I had not seen him in two months. I will carry that forever."

"I never said thank you to a stranger who helped me during the worst week of my life. They sat with me for two hours in a hospital waiting room. I do not know their name. I have no way to find them. But I think about them and wish they knew what those two hours meant."

"I told my partner I had never been jealous in a relationship. What I meant was I had learned to hide it so well even I sometimes forgot it was there."

"I claimed expenses that were not entirely legitimate for about eighteen months. Small amounts, nothing dramatic. I stopped when a colleague was investigated for something similar. The fear of being caught was greater than my conscience, which tells me something about who I was then."

"I lent money to a friend knowing I needed it back within six months. When six months came I told them there was no rush. I genuinely could not face the conversation. I spent the next year quietly struggling while they spent the money on a holiday."

"I wrote a negative anonymous review of my former employer that was not entirely fair. I was angry when I wrote it. That review is still up there and still affecting their recruitment. I have considered removing it and have not."

"I split a bill unevenly at a dinner once, in my own favour, knowing my friend had not been paying attention. It was only twelve pounds. I do not know why I did it. We have had hundreds of dinners since and I have always been scrupulously fair. That one time still bothers me."

"I confessed about my secret savings account. I told my husband last Tuesday. I showed him the balance and explained why I had started it. He was quiet for a long time and then he said he was glad I had it. The relief of being fully known is extraordinary."

"I have told my employer I cannot work weekends for family reasons for three years. My family reasons are that I simply do not want to work weekends. There is no specific commitment. I have just never wanted to say that plainly."

"I let fear of failure stop me from trying for most of my twenties. By the time I understood that not trying was its own kind of failure it felt too late for some things. I am making up for it now. But some windows close."