The Confessions

"I broke up with someone who was genuinely good to me because my friends did not like them. I let other peoples opinions override my own heart. They married someone else last year. They look happy. I still wonder."

"My girlfriend thinks our first date went perfectly. Actually I nearly cancelled it twice, spilled wine on myself in the bathroom and called her the wrong name in my head all evening. What she read as calm confidence was blind terror."

"I told my ex that I did not blame them for how things ended. I did blame them. I blamed them for years. I only stopped when I finally admitted to myself how much of it was my fault too."

"I ended a perfectly good relationship because I was convinced something better was out there. That was eleven years ago. I have not had a relationship last longer than eight months since. I think about her more than I should."

"I told my last partner that I needed space to work on myself. The truth is I had already emotionally checked out six months before and just did not have the courage to say so. Space was a kindly worded exit."

"I have to confess that many years ago I told my best friend I had always really cared for them and would do anything to help, yet when they really needed I just wasn't there for them. They did so much for me and truly loved me shown by their actions. I just didn't show up for them. I was so full of myself. I still wake in the night thinking how badly I let them down."

"I ghosted someone who was kind, funny and clearly into me because they were not conventionally attractive and I was worried what my friends would think. I am ashamed of that version of myself."

"I told my girlfriend I had never been in love before I met her. The truth is I was completely broken by someone else two years before and I have never fully recovered. She thinks she is healing someone whole. She is healing someone in pieces."

"I once told someone I loved them for the first time purely because they said it first and the silence felt unbearable. I did love them eventually. But that first time was a lie born of panic."

"I told my partner I had never been jealous in a relationship. What I meant was I had learned to hide it so well even I sometimes forgot it was there."