The Confessions

"I told my husband the reason I did not want children was medical. It is not medical. I simply do not want them and was afraid he would leave if I said so plainly. He deserved honesty and I gave him a story."

"I told my last partner that I needed space to work on myself. The truth is I had already emotionally checked out six months before and just did not have the courage to say so. Space was a kindly worded exit."

"I ghosted someone who was kind, funny and clearly into me because they were not conventionally attractive and I was worried what my friends would think. I am ashamed of that version of myself."

"I pretended not to receive a message from someone who loved me because I did not know how to tell them I did not feel the same. I left them wondering for weeks. That was cruel and I knew it was cruel when I was doing it."

"I have never told my husband that the first year of our marriage I genuinely was not sure we had done the right thing. I kept waiting for the feeling to pass. It did pass. But those twelve months I carried alone were the loneliest of my life."

"I once told someone I loved them for the first time purely because they said it first and the silence felt unbearable. I did love them eventually. But that first time was a lie born of panic."

"I have been with my partner for six years and I have never once told them about my debt. They think we are financially equal. We are not. I am afraid that if they knew the real number they would leave."

"I have to confess that many years ago I told my best friend I had always really cared for them and would do anything to help, yet when they really needed I just wasn't there for them. They did so much for me and truly loved me shown by their actions. I just didn't show up for them. I was so full of myself. I still wake in the night thinking how badly I let them down."

"I read my partners messages while they slept. I found nothing. No betrayal, no lies, nothing but kind words about me to their friends. I still check sometimes. I think the problem has always been me not them."

"I have been married for fourteen years and I still think about someone I knew briefly at university. Not romantically exactly. More like wondering who I would have become if I had been brave enough to pursue that path. My wife is wonderful. The thought still comes."